Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Moody, worry, sad, disappointed..

My life seems to be upside down. A lot of things are upsetting me.. and I don really seem any happiness in me since recently.

My hb has been posted to another unit, and he is back on shift work. Work morning, work nite, off 2 days routine. Well, wen we were dating, he was in this routine before.. till he married and was given office hrs duties. Back then, it was ok coz v were only dating. We only mit up when both of us are available. But now, things btwn us have changed a lot. Besides being married, we are tied down with a toddler and a baby-coming-soon. Life will never be the same again..

As long as he’s working, I have to send son in the morning to childcare and fetch son from MIL’s hse every day. I’m still having morning sickness. Plus it’s quite tiring for me to walk ard so much wif a growing tummy. I’m wonder what will happen wen I’m into my 8-10mth pregnancy. Will I have the strength to walk that 30min in the mrng and 20min in the evening every wkday?? And not counting the nites that I gng to handle the 2 kids all by myself. What if 1 wakes up after another in the middle of the night? Will I be awake the next day & ready for work? Will I be able to handle 2 kids alone by myself on wkends when hb is working or slping (b4 & after nite shift)??
You may be tinking of a helper, maid. But hb is uncomfortable abt the idea of a stranger in the hse. Plus we do plan or prefer a car to a maid. So still out of qns when come to affordable n comfortableness..

My confinement is still in doubt. 6 more mths to go.. and hb has not spoke to MIL except that WL is gng to stay wif them during my confinement. Who gng to prepare my confinement food? Bathe baby n clean up the hse? Hb say may apply for 1 mth of leave again. But then he juz started a new workplace. So it’s in doubt yet. As for food, may need to cater in. :(

Went for a checkup with gynae ytd. Gynae advised that baby is growing faster den her expectation. But still no change in EDD. I worried as I don wan an over-sized baby, which may result in C-section. Everything else is gtg on fine. My baby is very low risk for DS. Gynae spotted the gender for the baby but to be confirmed nxt visit as it’s still too early to tell.

It seems that everything is revolving my new baby. Yes we did plan for the baby and wanted a baby badly. So I should blame the environment for changing too fast to accommodate my new baby. Please allow me to be happy as I wan a happy baby. Or I should slowly learn to accept the fact?


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